


Between A Rope And A Wrench

by TheMsource



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Cussing (but not alot), F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Horror (not really), One Shot, Other, Prompt Fic, Secret Santa 2020, Shenanigans, Slice of Life, flirting (if you squint), spooky scary skeletons - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMsource/pseuds/TheMsource
Summary: You work full-time at a hardware store in the city. Because of your patient temperament, you're often asked to deal with the more troublesome customers by your coworkers - and that includes a certain edgy skeleton. Which is fine; it doesn't bother you that much. Or at least, it usually wouldn't, except this particular customer always seems to have the shopping list of a serial killer.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62
Collections: It's Snowing Somewhere Else: An Undertale Themed Secret Santa 2020!





	Between A Rope And A Wrench

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Damn_Son](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damn_Son/gifts).



> Hey, I was your Secret Santa!  
> Hope you like it! I'm not too good at prompts ^^;
> 
> **Prompt** :  
> Edge/Reader

“That’s a lot of rope, got something heavy you plan on moving?”

The tall skeleton you were currently speaking with glanced down briefly to the three bundles of rope he held before slowly looking back up at you as he straightened his spine.

“...You could say that.”

You’d met Edge when he’d come into the store a month ago; all of your coworkers and even your boss had been terrified too much to help him so they ended up cajoling you into doing it. Not once had you ever called in or so much as left early, so when you’d get picked to handle the disagreeable and frightening customers every time it always aggravated you.

You blamed Cindy, the perky blue eyed blonde always took advantage and walked all over you. She never came in on time and never failed to seduce the manager into giving her extra time off without a single pay reduction. Everyone loved her, those that didn’t know her at least. But it had stunned you the moment she’d run screaming at the sight of the tall skeleton. They had said your 'patience' was why they'd chosen you, but you knew just watching her reaction that wasn't the case at all.

Eventually you’d ended up learning his name was Papyrus. However, with every purchase he made you had started noticing a trend, specifically he always looked as if he was stocking up on serial killer supplies.

You’d even wondered if he was a hitman at one point.

At first it had been a tool set, one of the really expensive ones with redundant pieces included in it just to jack up the price, which was fine, it was the fact he’d bought it only after asking and grilling you for nearly three hours over its lifetime warranty that had made you start looking at him warily. He’d insisted on being guaranteed a replacement set if any suddenly snapped or broke, and he’d been absolutely certain that was a very real possibility. 

...You were still trying to figure out how one somehow ‘snaps’ a brand new steel wrench…

His second visit a month after that when he’d asked about tarps, not the basic ones used for rain and protection from mud, he’d specifically needed a heavy duty steel 4 sided drop tarp, the kind only used in cargo ships. 

Ordering one had been nearly a nightmare for you, you’d had to stay an extra four hours after work to get one imported. It was at that point you started to accept that a visit from the black and red dressed monster would never be an average or easy day for you.

It was his third visit just last week that you’d officially dubbed him Edge, because there was no way with the crimson lights in his sockets brightening as he held up a multifaceted chainsaw sporting _super chiseled 404 teeth_ that he didn’t somehow look Edgy. 

He hadn’t responded to the nickname when you’d first used it while ringing him up, at most he’d just flexed his skull as if raising a brow at you, so you’d taken that as the go ahead to keep using it. Seriously you would have given him an Emmy if you could’ve for how he spoke alone, he could’ve been a politician if he didn’t act so...hostile.

This time though was the first time you’d chosen to actually start up a conversation, rather than simply nodding your head and forcing a smile, and his surprise showed in the way his tone drawled. “I am aiming more for restraint rather than lift.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t asked me to look for Plasma Rope.” You joked.

The huff he let out was both aggravated sounding and dismissive. “As high as my standards are, procuring the amount I’d need in that kind of material would be outside of my pay range.” 

He’d actually thought about it, and you weren’t surprised at all.

“Are you going to attempt to prattle all day or are you going to ring me up?” 

Wow, rude.

You frowned at him. “Sorry if I offended you...sir.”

He cocked a bony brow. 

“What gave the impression I was in any way affected by your words? I could care less so long as you do your job.”

This guy couldn’t be serious, or you guessed he could be, he did shop as if he was preparing for the end of the world.

You closed your eyes as you took a deep breath and slowly counted backwards from ten, going off on him wouldn’t do you any favors. You’d learned after four years in retail that the best way to handle these kinds of customers was to simply be professional.

To kill them with kindness as your dear mother liked to tell you.

“...I apologize, I just thought that a monster of your _taste_ would appreciate being offered an informed opinion on quality equipment...I see now I was _wrong_.” 

His sockets widened as he caught the dry sarcasm in your tone, and only then did it occur to you that he probably wasn’t used to being talked back to like that, let alone by a human a good foot shorter than him. But if he thought for even a moment that he could push you around, after all the work you’d put into helping him all this time, he had another thing coming.

“...What are you implying, human?” Edge scowled.

You glanced away as you set your jaw and looked back up at him so sweetly it was toxic.

“Nothing at all.”

He stepped forward and bent down until his face was leveled with yours, his breath smelling of cinnamon brushing against your skin as the lights in his eyes turned to tiny pinpricks. “Either you genuinely think I’m stupid enough not to notice you have something to say to me, or you’re simply trying to get a rise out of me.”

You opened your mouth to speak but he cut across you.

“I don’t want you speaking unless it’s to tell me the truth. Over the last few days I’ve not failed to notice the way you grit your teeth or narrow your eyes when you’re frustrated. Truly _deplorable_ habits, but useful all the same in interpreting your moods.” Edge hissed through his fangs. 

All you could do was blink at him. He’d only spoken to you a handful of times, how was he so observant? Truth be told you were more shocked than impressed, it gave more support to the hitman theory you had about him to have such keen observation skills. You’d only seen such a thing in the ‘Taken’ movies.

“...I just think you could be nicer to me, seeing all the effort I’ve put into helping you, instead of acting like an asshole.” You whispered as your cheeks burned.

Edge stared at you silently before straightening, a gloved hand gripping his chin as if in contemplation the longer his crimson eyelights bored into you. After a moment he crossed his arms and hummed roughly, “You have been useful that I won’t deny.”

You stared at him before pointing at the ropes. “Are you ready to check out?”

“Yes, yes! Didn’t I state this already?”

It was reflex as you rolled your eyes. “All I heard was you berating me your edginess.”

Edge scowled, but you realized your slip far too late as you heard the sudden cry of your name and turned just in time to see your boss as he came stomping down the aisle, his face set into a disapproving glare. 

Great, there was no way he hadn’t just seen you sass ‘a dearly valued’ customer.

Edge’s scowl deepened as Mr. Greeves stopped right beside you, with his thick hands fisted and resting on his portly hips while he practically hissed. “What have I told you about respect?”

You blanked on what to say but it didn’t matter as Edge spoke instead.

“Did I ask for your help?” 

You looked up and dumbly at the absolute death glare he leveled at the older man. Mr. Greeves was equally caught off guard by the sudden hostility in Edge’s voice and floundered as he struggled to form words. 

“W-well no sir--”

“Then what makes you think that I _need_ it?” 

Mr. Greeves’ mouth snapped shut and the feeling that came over you could only be described as surreal. Not many people would’ve defended an associate let alone someone who’d given them attitude, and yet Edge had.

You jolted as he looked down at you with a huff. “Are we done here? I have errands to finish.” 

Eager to get away from the situation you briskly walked with Edge to the counter, you knew the guy would nag at you later after Edge left but you were going to take every moment delaying that that you could, and started to scan the first bundle of rope.

Crap you couldn’t _not_ say something.

“Hey uh,” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Edge as your cheeks burned again. “Thanks for speaking up for me, you didn’t have to but I appreciate it.”

“You were merely standing up for yourself, that is something to respect, not reprimand.” He growled before rolling his eyelights. “You humans are confusing, sometimes you encourage such things and other times you punish each other for it. Your species should make up its mind on what it considers _acceptable_.”

You didn’t miss the judgmental tone behind his words but still chuckled. “Yeah about that, there’s this thing called the human condition.”

“How fitting, that you consider yourselves walking diseases.” Edge frowned skeptically.

And just like that what little admiration you’d gained for him was ruined.

“Seriously?” You deadpanned.

Edge let out a deep and smoky huff, a low and vibrating guffaw, that left you speechless.

Oh...he was joking? 

It was hard to tell but it was even harder to miss. This skeleton had never once laughed in the short time you’d known him, in fact you’d nearly thought him incapable of it. But the warmth in his rasp is what really sold it to you.

...Okay then you could do humor.

You rang up the last bundle and gave the cheesiest smile you could. 

“That’ll be seven hundred, fifty dollars and twenty-five cents.” 

Without missing a beat he pulled out an expensive looking leather wallet and fished out eight crisp hundred dollar bills. “Highway robbery.”

He really didn’t have room to complain when he had a wallet bulging so thickly with cash that the money he’d already pulled out looked like singles, but you rolled with it anyways as you accepted it and handed back the change.

“Yep hate to tell you but we’re not diseases, we’re parasites, hungry ones.” You teased.

Edge astonishingly smiled and it consequently softened his usually sharp fangs as he closed his sockets and grabbed his bags. Oddly you felt accomplished getting a positive reaction out of him, something told you that wasn’t easy. was when he reached the sliding doors that he stopped and looked back at you. 

“I’ll be back next week, I expect your assistance.”

That was sooner than usual and he was asking for you directly?

You smiled.

“Can’t wait.”

He dropped his grin so quickly as he left, it was hard to believe it’d been there at all.

~~

"You can't be serious…" 

"Does it look like I'm joking?"

You tried not to let the awkwardness leek into your words as you slowly drawled, "I don't think I can order a muzzle, that's something more for pet stores...do you even have a dog?"

Edge glared.

"Are you trying to insult me?" You tilted your head as he gestured at himself. "You're asking a skeleton if he owns a dog, are you purposely being obtuse or did you fall on your head after I saw you last?"

Instead of feeling insulted you actually ended up giggling at the mental image of him, tall and imposing, being chased by a tiny chihuahua.

"Yeah, now that I think about it you come across more of a cat person."

Edge went quiet as something seemed to flash behind the irritation in his sockets. His expression going suddenly aloof even as his voice remained rough and coarse. 

"...I am coincidently."

Your brows rose to your hairline. You weren't expecting to be so on the nose with your guess, but somehow the idea of abrasive and short-tempered Edge doing something as gentle and adorable as petting a cat gave a warm feeling in your chest.

"Oh, that's cool. Do you own one?"

He looked away from you. "...Are you going to help me procure a muzzle or not? I don't have time to indulge your curiosity today."

It looked like you’d made him uncomfortable with the question if the sudden light red flush across his face said anything, if you didn’t know better you’d have thought he was blushing. 

A skeleton blushing, now there was a picture.

"I can make a call, I have a friend that works at the vet instead of you having to travel fifteen minutes outside of the city." You hummed.

“Fine! So long as I get it today.” 

“Today?”

“Yes, time is running short.” That statement actually gave you pause and made you falter with the phone’s receiver tucked between your ear and cheek while a finger hovered over the number dials. 

Cautiously you looked at him.

“...Is there an emergency?”

Who in the world needed an emergency muzzle?

“Don’t worry about it, make your phone call.” He growled as he pulled a thick cell phone from his impossibly tight leather pants, by god it looked like it was from the 90s, and began to type furiously on it with a brow raised and sockets narrowed as if he’d just seen something upsetting.

You stared at him. 

Now it really felt as if you were aiding a kidnapper, this whole muzzle thing was pretty damning and suspicious as hell. However, watching as he struggled to suppress a smile at something on his dim screen relaxed you. 

...Maybe you were just jumping to conclusions, you’d always been told you had an active imagination. Well that was the conclusion you’d stick with for now at least.

It was only two rings before you got an answer.

“Hello, Central Perk Animal Clinic, how may I help you?”

“Hey Julie!”

Edge glanced up at you just as your friend let out a high squeal of your name, his eyelights pulsing tensely and shoulders stiffening, before quickly glancing back down the second you chuckled.

“You never call during work, what’s up doll?” Julie sing-songed. “Did that skeleton you told me about show up again?” 

You blushed as you shot Edge a cursory side eye and half turned away from him, biting your lip as you tried your best to avoid her going off on a rant and spilling all the secrets you’d confided in her over the previous week. As much as you loved her she was a loud mouth.

“Yeah um...I was wondering if you guys carried any muzzles over there?”

“...Muzzles? Uh, yeah we do, why?”

Edge made you glance at him as he tsked and violently shoved his phone back in his pocket.

“I need one--”

“A basket muzzle, preferably a wired one with the grates large enough for food to pass through.”

You widened your eyes at him but repeated what he’d said. Julie seemed just as awkward as you as she went silent for a really long time before asking for you to give her a second to check and leaving you on hold. 

You just knew she was going to call you later to interrogate you over this.

“Okay I found one!”

“Thanks Julie, I’ll send him over now.”

“K, and don’t think for a second you’re off the hook--” You hung up.

“They have one, do you need directions?” Edge shook his skull.

“No I can manage on my own.” You offered a hesitant smile at his short and clipped tone but slowly dropped it the longer he stood standing in front of you staring peevishly, his phalanges drumming against his crossed arm rhythmically. 

He made you flinch when he finally said something. “...What time do you get off work?”

You gaped at him.

“...F-five o’clock? But I have to be in early--” 

“Rather late but fine, I’ll be here at four.”

He didn’t give you a chance to finish before he was sauntering back out of the store. Only when you heard your manager over the PA did you stir to life enough to just realize what Edge had done. Were you imagining it or had he actually asked you out?

Correction, demanded you out.

You ran a hand through your hair. You didn’t really know the guy, other than these sudden shopping sprees from him you’d never once seen him anywhere else in the city let alone outside of work. So why in the world had he just arranged to meet you?

He wasn’t buying all of this stuff for _you_ was he?

A shiver ran down your spine and you shook your head. No, if you were a target you were sure someone as in your face as Edge was wouldn’t be capable of being discreet about it you reasoned.

It didn’t stop you from eyeing the clock as the time passed.

And true to his word Edge was there right at four. He waited while you clocked out and watched silently as you locked up, not speaking a word the whole time. It was uncomfortable, but at the same time you felt bizarrely safe with how passing men and women did their best to avoid you with Edge’s looming shadow over you.

Finally you took a deep breath and faced him.

“So...what’s up?” You had never cringed harder at yourself.

“You look terrified.” He observed.

You could only offer a shrug. “I didn’t expect you to...meet me like this?”

Edge looked conflicted as he slowly murmured. “Does my presence upset you?”

That caught you off guard and you actually paused to consider it.

“...No.”

He smirked and his eyelights visibly hazed around the edges before going smooth again and brightening, a hand coming out to gesture at a slick black convertible that looked worth at least two mortgage payments, parked near the sidewalk. 

“I found an open air restaurant I’ve been wanting to try, you can give me your opinion on the place to see if it’s worth my continued patronage.” 

“Uh, Edge, are we going on a date?”

He scowled. “Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s not like I have a partner or anything.” 

“I don’t see how that is relevant, last I checked dating could be platonic, which was my intention.” 

Your cheeks had never burned so badly they scorched. Edge though noticed your reaction and bent down to eye level with you, bathing you in his warm cinnamon scent once again as he hummed in amusement.

“I still haven’t decided my feelings on you, some patience and prudence would do well on your part until then. Meanwhile, take this as me paying my dues for your aid.”

You were confused. “I was just doing my job.”

“Yes, but you didn’t have to. Do you have any idea how many incompetent fools outright refused to serve me or didn’t understand what it was I was asking for before I finally came across your store? Even your coworkers avoided me but still you came to help me despite their obvious bias.” 

His gaze softened as he stood straight and looked away but not by much. “Even if you were persuaded to do so, you still put the effort in, I wouldn’t have gotten what I’d needed thus far otherwise.”

Both pain and affection made your blush spread down to your shoulders. You were touched, that was one of the most honest and generous things someone had ever told you before, and judging by how he fidgeted in place it must’ve taken a lot for him to say that. You’d also be lying if you didn’t admit that you felt bad too.

Had he really noticed you getting pressured into helping him but never once complained?

“...What’s the place called?”

His gaze pierced you right to the soul as he snapped his skull back over to look at you, his expression turning haughty and smug as he stepped away to circle to the driver side of the car and opened the door with a flourish. 

“Rubirosa Ristorante.” 

You loved Italian!

Eagerly you joined him and slipped into the plush leather seat of the passenger side, your feet bouncing happily as you buckled up and he started the engine. “I hope they have Lasagna, there’s nothing like it when it’s genuine Italian!” 

Edge froze with his hand an inch from the dial for the radio, how he stiffened worrying you, before he closed his sockets and turned the volume all the way up, drowning you both in heavy guitar riffs and strong drum solos.

“If that’s a dish you like, you should try my cooking sometime.” 

The look you gave him was star struck. “You can cook? Yes please!”

You both let the music take over the conversation as he pulled out and away into the street.

~~

The platonic dates became a thing, you two both started to hang out at least once a week, sometimes twice and usually at a new restaurant or occasionally at a different place entirely. He’d tried taking you rock climbing once and you’d nearly broken your neck falling from it, not only did he yell at you for your lack of effort but at the attendants for their awful support system.

It was fun.

You both even started to gradually open up to each other; sometimes he’d tell you what life underground had been like or how work was going, and you’d tell him about old memories or the occasional thing you read online. You’d even developed a routine of bantering between you.

But scars were off limits.

He never told you about the scar over his left eye, in fact he always avoided questions that somehow tied to it, or would ignore you completely if you caught yourself staring at it or another mark you’d noticed on his arms when a glove would slide down or crease just right.

Edge would always scowl, and you never failed to notice he’d always end up diverting the topic to his brother or friend Undyne, on occasion even his human nephew Frisk. That had been fun to learn about, how loaded he was because he was a royal delegate.

Talk about not judging a book by it’s cover.

But you liked knowing him, and he seemed to like knowing you too. Edge never outright said if he’d learned how he felt about you, but his actions came across very friendly and supportive even when his words were far from it. 

And that left you thinking to yourself...how did _you_ feel about _him_?

His sockets though barely expressive held eyelights that told you more than his own smile would when he’d grace you with it, and his body always acted like a shield from the overwhelming crowd when it’d surround you. Edge had even voiced his distaste for the nickname you’d given him but he always loosened up more when you’d use it, like it calmed him.

You only wished you could make up your mind about the whole situation, because he was so hard to understand sometimes just as he was also so easy. Julie couldn’t even help you figure it out when you’d confided in her about it, honestly what kind of friend suggests ‘The Bonezone’ as a solution to anything?

It was a thought you were still ruminating on when the phone started ringing.

With a tired yawn you set down the box of hammers you were stocking and groaned as you lazily walked over to it, secretly hoping that whoever it was would just hang up. To your ever increasing disappointment the ringing seemed to get insistent. 

You glanced out a window in passing at the spike of thunder you heard before sighing as you picked it up. “Tool’s a-plenty, y/n speaking how may I help you?” 

“There you are!”

“...Edge?”

An impatient growl answered you but before you could ask what was up he was suddenly word vomiting a mile a minute. “I need some supplies urgently! Bring me twenty-three gallons of twelve percent peroxide and six fifty pound bags of salt, I know you keep some stored in the back for winter!”

The sound of heavy thumping, like a metal disk or ceramic plate had been thrown, followed by a muffled shout had you furrowing your brows as Edge pulled away from the phone to shout something. 

You drawled slowly, “Uh...What’s going on?”

More shouting went on before he came back sounding out of breath. “I don’t have time to enlighten you at the moment--” 

He cut out momentarily before coming back through clearly. 

Had he dodged something? 

“--I reside at the end of Wilmer and Hutchens, right off Highway twenty-five!”

“Edge I can’t just--” Something loud and sounding horrifyingly like a thunderous boom of electricity cut you off. 

“Okay what the _hell_ was that!?”

“How about you stop wasting precious time like an imbecile and do your duty as a friend to bring me what I request of you!?” You froze. “Hurry up!” 

The line went dead.

You stared at the phone numbly. 

Edge had sounded nearly frantic, you weren’t used to that at all, and the amount of salt and peroxide he’d asked for...you knew combining the two was more than enough to light a single light bulb, and if you factored that in to just how much he’d asked you for you didn’t doubt for a second there wouldn’t be plenty to power a small lighthouse.

Your eyes widened.

Oh god...had he finally assaulted someone?

All of your interactions over the last two months raced through your head; how you met and what exactly he purchased each time he saw you, the way he never answered your questions clearly but always worded himself carefully. 

You had been joking with yourself that he’d possibly been planning a murder but now it felt as if the answer was staring you right in the face, and it was hard to swallow given all the time you’d spent together.

You sucked in a breath and glanced towards the cleaning supply isle, torn between exactly what to do. Did you buy him the supplies and bring them, possibly making you an accomplice to whatever fucked up situation he was tangled up in? Or did you ignore the whole thing and silently hope it worked itself out, and possibly worry if he’d come after you for having abandoned him to his own devices.

Edge had called you a _friend_.

Your mind made itself up, but as you drove through the rain your mind raced.

Were you honestly about to do this?

Often Edge had talked about cooking for you, but he’d never invited you to his house before and he’d never so much as hinted as to where he’d lived. So to suddenly just shout his address at you had left you anxious.

There were many things to dislike about the tall skeleton, but there had been just as many things that had endeared him to you as well; from the way his fangs impossibly curved when he grudgingly found something ‘admirable’ as he put it, to the subconscious habit he had of pulling his gloves taunt when indecisive about something.

With a shaky huff you realized, yes, you were about to do something _maybe_ unspeakable just to help cover his non-existent ass, and if need be you’d do so willingly time and time again if he needed it, because that’s what friends did for each other right?

That’s what friends did...for each other... 

_Friends_.

As you pulled up to the front of the cabin you barely paid it a glance, choosing instead to park and go right to your trunk where you began unloading the several gallons of peroxide and bags of salt Edge had asked for. 

Now that you thought about it there was a lot of the stuff.

You paused on the fourth bag and clutched it tightly in your hands as you looked down at all the supplies.

...How much of this did someone need to clean up a murder scene exactly?

Whatever, he was the expert you supposed. Gritting your teeth you hulled all of it through the light downpour up to the porch and knocked frantically at the door. The sooner you got this over with the easier it’d be to avoid running off screaming.

You jumped as the door suddenly bowed and splintered along the sides.

Shocked, you held your breath and slowly counted back from a hundred as you squeezed your eyes tight to the rolling thunder behind you. Son as you hit zero you rubbed the heel of your palm into an eye and knocked again.

The door flew open and you yelped.

Edge was sweating red magic, his constantly immaculate clothes torn and shredded in certain places and outright missing in others. He looked like he’d gone a round or two with a tiger. 

Your eyes automatically fell to his single exposed hand as he started reaching for the supplies and pulling them into the house. It was so scarred and chipped...and there was a makeshift metal finger that bent and curled where the ring finger should’ve been like a prosthetic. 

Remembering yourself you started to help him as you shakily asked, “Are you okay?”

He grunted but didn’t answer you as the last of the bags was pulled inside, instead reaching out with his gloved hand to grab your arm and firmly guided you inside right as he slammed the door shut. The clicking of the locks lost in the wake of the massacre of wrecked furniture and torn carpeting you laid eyes on.

You went still as a statue.

“Uh…” 

There didn’t look as if there was any blood...or body parts.

“Are you just going to stand there gawking?” 

With a jolt you turned and hurried to grab some of the peroxide, trying your best to keep up as you followed him up the stairs while your heart hammered a mile a minute as you noticed the broken banister in passing. 

You saw claw marks imprinted in the scant wood that survived.

Were those chainsaw marks too?

The upstairs was only a hallway that had three doors; two that you hurried passed down to the end where you could faintly hear snarling and growling. You stopped at just how deep and demonic the noise sounded.

Edge paused with his hand on the handle to face you the second he noticed you had stopped following him, and caught the dazed look in your eyes. “You’re safe, I wouldn’t allow my brother the chance to take his anger out on you.”

You blinked. “Did you say...your _brother_? What did Red turn feral or something?!”

“No more than he usually is.” He huffed as he rolled his eyelights. It was one of those moments where you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. But you did feel calmer as he opened the door and cautiously walked in before signaling you to follow.

There was a nude skeleton, at least a good two feet shorter than Edge and a foot shorter than you tied up with the rope and wrapped with the muzzle Edge had gotten, plus a ball gag that had somehow been affixed to it to keep him from speaking.

Your skin turned into a sunburn.

“Edge...what the hell am I looking at?” 

“A monster that refuses to acknowledge that there’s such a thing as hygiene.” The apathy in his voice was cold enough to freeze lava. Red blinked his sockets open and honed red eyelights first on Edge then immediately on you. You’d never met him in person, but he lived up to the impression Edge had given you as he growled like an animal at you.

“Shut up, they won’t be the one washing you, you giant baby.”

His words clicked.

“Wait...this stuff is for...a bath?” You asked dumbly as Edge knelt over the tub where Red started to struggle in a bid for freedom, his sharp teeth futilely gnawing into the gag in his mouth. The taller skeleton rolled his eyelights as he lifted a bag of salt single handedly and ripped it open before pouring it over his brother’s head.

“mmph!”

“If you don’t want it in your sockets then close them!” He snapped before addressing you. “Yes, as skeletons we only require one every three to four months depending on how clean we are, an advantage to being made of magic. This lazy pig just happens to never wash his clothing either so he gets one sooner than me.”

“I thought I was jealous before.” You drawled as he knelt and popped open another bag.

Edge smirked. “A bath of three parts Peroxide and one part Salt produces enough energy to restore our magic as well as to whiten and cleanse our bones. In essence…” 

You watched as he quickly tossed the empty bags aside and started on the liquid. “My dear brother is getting a spa treatment, not that he deserves such a thing given the fight he always puts me through.”

So all that noise had been them fighting? While that was a gigantic weight off your shoulders, you still made a mental note to never stick around if they started yelling at each other. Given what you’d seen, you didn’t find the idea of being another scorch mark in their carpet appealing.

“Well...and I thought I hated baths.” 

The deadpanned expression Edge gave you as he finally poured the last of the Peroxide had you fighting to repress a snicker, until the solution he had made turned iridescent and started to glow a blindingly bright white. 

You gasped as you watched Red stiffen and seize for a fleeting moment before turning lax and sinking further into the brightness, his sockets drooping as if on the brink of sleep with wisps of faint red bleeding out from him to die the water light pink.

It was really pretty.

Edge stared at his brother and didn’t move as he assessed the phenomenon. He hummed in satisfaction as the first snore left his brother’s teeth and sighed before walking over to sit against the far wall.

“Might as well get comfortable, the unpleasant part isn’t for a while but he’ll still try to escape if we don’t watch him.” You gave Red one more glance and shuffled over to Edge tiredly to sit beside him. Not exactly the best first impression you’d wanted to make with his brother, but maybe he wouldn’t hold this against you.

“Unpleasant?”

“After a while it starts to burn, that’s the time we’re supposed to scrub so we can get the grim out of our pores.” 

“Ah. Nevermind, I’m not so jealous anymore.” Edge looked thoughtful as you both sat together and watched the faint glow from the tub, Red’s snoring filling the echoing silence of the room like comfortable background noise.

It was nice in a weird way, and made you want to be honest.

“...Y’know, I thought you were trying to get rid of a body or clean up a crime scene. I never imagined it was bath supplies.”

Edge shifted against the wall but kept his gaze on his brother. “How amusing, that you think I would need your help for such a thing.” 

Wearily you glanced at the carefully neutral tone in his voice. “To be fair I had nothing to go on, the last thing I expected after hearing all that noise on the phone was you trying to wash your brother’s toes. And all the stuff you bought? I mean, a freaking chainsaw?” 

“The noise scares him, I needed a way to corral him upstairs.”

You intentionally ignored that. 

“...Besides, I know a thing or two about hiding stuff.”

Edge looked at you, his sockets lidding heavily. “Do you?”

You shrugged.

He let out a small laugh, causing your brows to raise as he leaned further into the bathroom wall and turned his attention back to the tub. “I appreciate you showing up, but I would never seek your aid for something like that I assure you.” 

“Geez, I don’t know whether to be offended or relieved.” Edge merely shook his skull, a small smile curving his teeth as he folded his arms across his chest.

It was quiet for a long time before he spoke again. “I’m glad I met you.”

You jolted in place and stared at him incredulously. 

“However if you tell anyone that, I’ll show you just what kind of body disposal skills I have, and exactly why I wouldn’t be needing your help in such a situation.”

“...Can’t you just compliment me normally Edge?”

“No.” 

You looked down at your feet.

“I’m glad I met you too.” You could feel his stare like a magnet. “...You’re a cool monster and if there’s any I’d like to have as a friend it’s someone like you.”

The air turned heavy and the room felt smaller the more awkward you felt at his extended silence. You inched your gaze up to peer at him and felt a shiver down your spine as his eyelights locked on you, his sockets uncharacteristically soft.

“Thank you...but I wouldn’t get used to it.”

You frowned. 

Slowly he leaned over and smirked as his tone turned rough, his nasal ridge brushing against the suddenly red shell of your ear with a teasing touch. “I have high standards, and my goals far extend being only a ‘friend’ to you.” 

“E-edge…” You sputtered, completely caught off guard even as your blood rushed in your ears and your breathing turned erratic, excitement and hesitancy tangling painfully in your chest.

He thankfully gave you breathing room as he leaned back.

“You’ve made an impression on me, and I hope to match it.” He shut his sockets. “Don’t act so surprised that your generosity has been noticed and your kindness too.” 

You tried to think of a response but fell short of the mark. You smiled as you heard him start to snore, you had work tomorrow and you had no clue when Red would wake up, but Edge looked so tired and what kind of friend would you be if you left him now?

You pulled out your cell phone and dialed your boss. 

“Hey, I’m not going to be able to make it in tomorrow, have Cindy cover me.”


End file.
